CHAMONE MUTHAFUCKA!!! and other tales

[~ MAR ~]

Here are my selection of Festie tales.

The first tale to tell is of the guy who was stood for quite a while in amongst a sea of seated ppl on the Sunday last year, not too far from the main stage, and only a few feet in front of us. He had a pint of lager balanced precariously on his head....and we watched with limited interest for the first 10 mins or so until suddenly WHIZZZ an empty water bottle came flying through the air.....presently followed by another. It was at this point that ppl started taking a close interest...lol And those bottles were swiftly followed by a few more.....and on and on.....more and more until eventually yep...one hit the bullseye and the pint flew off his head, soaking himself and the group of ppl sitting around him!!

"BOLLOCKS!!" he cursed..."I only had a few more seconds to go...."

You can see a pic here

My next story happened on the Sunday as well, I think...and once again just in front of where we were sitting. A group of 2 guys and a woman were picking up bits of rubbish and placing it all carefully on top of a prone figure on the ground. So while we quietly chuckled they continued covering him up in rubbish and seeing us giggling they asked if we'd take a pic for them (which I did and afterwards emailed to the guy).

It was fucking classic when the guy woke up still in a drunken haze and getting up looked all around him and at the rubbish falling off him, and all confused at his 'mates' and mumbled 'what the fuck you doing to me man?' HAHAHA

PIC

And then as we were leaving the site on Sunday evening and were clunking along the metal walk way out of the campsite towards the day parking (when I swear blind I saw Lee Gaze from Lostprophets with a group of guys) so we could come home, this 'biker' type guy with a Gimli style beard and a fuck off huge bull ring through his nose, who was walking towards the arena, just suddenly stopped dead in front of my 9 year old Josh, bent down and pulling the 'horns' in his face screamed 'CHAMONE MUTHAFUCKAAAAAA!!!'.

Luckily for him we saw the funny side, Josh burst out laughing, the guy and his group moved on and we all breathed a sigh of relief....LOL (not that I'd have argued with the guy anyway.... )

So anyway...there's my stories. Entertainment indeed!!

[PT]

all these stories have got me thinking. In 2000 i was on crutches at the festival due to a ligament based footballing knee injury (which cut my potential profesional career with chelsea short i'll have you know). For some reason a load of my mates had taken massive super soaker water pistols with them that year..which was fun in itself..but we managed to turn stupid water fights into covert anti-slipknott missions. For some reason..don't know why all my mates (who are massive metal and rock heads) hate slipknott..and as they were playing that year there were little fans everywhere....what we did was..as i was on crutches i was surplus to escaping from covert missions..so what i'd do is when i saw a slipknott fan i would hobble on my crutches behind them..this would alert my mates to the fact that there were slipknott fans in the vacinity...i'm quite tall and being on crutches meant i was easy to spot..so i'd follow them and my mates would follow me...then they'd disperse..i'd peel away from the slipknott fan and they dive in from all differnt directions (having caught up with me and circled the victim) and soak the poor bastard..then leg it..and i could just noncholontly hobble of...hours of fun

[~ MAR ~]

You meanie!!

[PT]

just remembered another odd story..opened a porter loo and someon had written shit in shit on the back of the loo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nice

[PT]

i've got a photo of it somewhere...i'll have to sort it out

[Catfood]

My tales come from Download last year. Ok, I always get sunburnt at festivals, I sure most of you do too. Even at Distortion 2002 where it rained for pretty much most of the day, I walked sunburn. So at Download, I thought that it would be different and I applied Sun screen to my arms and face. As it turned out, this would be a bad idea.
If you remember, Download took place during one of the hottest weekends in 2003 and because of the heat, I can't actually be bothered to mosh to any of the bands until Amen come on. When I do start moshing, I start to sweat which washes all of the sun screen into my eyes which is complete agony.
The day is pretty much a write off after that, a trip to St Johns First Aid provides tempory relief, but nothing lasting and I crash out in the tent after Marilyn Manson. This problem was cured on the second day after a second trip to St Johns.
Now I don't know why, but people don't tend to like rain at festivals. I love it, I think it makes the experience complete. And on the Sunday evening of Download, the heavens opened and it pissed it down. Just as I had finished moving the sleeping bags away from the sides of the tent so they didn't get wet, I decided to strip off and enjoy the rain. After it had been so hot all weekend, that rain was so refreshing and I sat out in it, drinking my bottle of Southern Comfort and coke and reading an increasingly wet newspaper.

[Tubby]

I always love the Bollocks chant that crosses camp !

Anyway Just remembered the best story ! in 2000 on the last night when things got shall we say a bit heated and portaloos were sacrificed we ran into a couple of fire engines trying to get through the camp when all of a sudden this stark naked bloke comes running through the tents to declare his posistion as Chief of Site Security and to ask what was happening all this with a can of fosters the firemen humoured him but eventually drove on with him running behind shouting "But I am the chief"