Post by evilpumbaa on Jan 14, 2005 2:30:37 GMT -5
Hello my friends, I cant sleep so i thought Id add more of my festival experiences for you all to enjoy. If you look elsewhere on this bourd ull see my other stories, read them first as these will make more sense.
Return of the Crazy guy
Thursday, set up tent in exactly the same place as last year (mental), got the booze and drugs out and started doing things hunter s thompson style. Things where going great, your usual sitting around talking to random strangers when a familar driveling sound came from around the tents, but this time, a much more sinister tone.
"Blow, pills, crystals (what we later found was Crack, lovely)"
It was THAT guy, the same guy who attempted to push a burger van over, the same guy who sold us weed while selling us burgers, only this time his trade had taken a more....evil turn. We tried to set up a conversation with him, but he ignored us until we offered him a joint, then he sat with us and told us about that same serial killer. It was nice to catch up with the strange guy until, my freind who will remain enonomous, picked up a bag full of brownish white powder (not a big fan of the man made, couldnt tell u what it was) the crazy guy had dropped. He pulled out a knife and held it to my freinds throat. My freind, quite understandebly, shat himself on the spot. The crazy guy laughed, and took the joint with him as he wondered into the wilderness, advertising his horrible wears. Our naive youth was killed in a second, as where my freinds jeans.
Poppers
Nothing on earth is as evil as a bottle of poppers, but they appear at every festival we go to. How does a tent justfy selling "room oderisors" at an open air festival? but anyway, my freind decided to waste his hard earned cash on several bottles and told us all he wanted every single bottle empty by the end of the day. Obviously nobody told him about a little thing called "science" but anyway, at that point I went to see the mighty fine bands on that saturday on my own. After a day of fine music i went back to the site and saw a horrendous site. My freinds where nowhere to be seen, but the booze had been left out all day and thankfully, had not been stolen. I investigated the area and discovered a few of my mates in a tent. They had spilt all the bottle onto the floor of the tent and they where all red faced, giggling like bunnys. Apparently sniffing wasnt working but this new method of killing urself got you really really fucked. I entered the tent and shut it behind me and within seconds i felt it. My face nearly exploded while all i could see was yellow dots, my heart raced while I could feel all my muscles in my body loosen. I fell backwards onto my mate who yelled out "my fucking head". Thing was, i didnt touch his head, he had been in the tent for to long, and he had had to much. Next thing I new it was morning, and we all woke up at exactly the same time. We exited the tent and spoke to our girlfreinds and apparently, even tho i cannot remember a thing to this day, one of the girls entered for a bit but we al passed out at exactly the same time. This phenomon is still to be explained to this very day.
Busted
Friday night, just saw the excellent green day (Leeds, your sunday is my friday) and went back to the campsite to smoke and drink the night away. On my way back i saw several people fighting of security, and i remember this vividly, i instantly thought "Bad shits going down tonight"
I got back to the site and to my absolute horror Ed was setting up a campfire "what the fuck are u doing man? Im going to get busted if you light that, no campfires they said and their fucking enforcing it " i said, looking around me to make sure nobody was looking.
"it will be fine man" Ed said, and lit it.
several hours later the alcahol had got to me and the fire was blazing. People where singing all around me, and the world was a fine place. I decided at that moment it was time for an evilpumbaa four skinner, rolling matt in hand i got to work, but at that moment a voice boomed over the campsite.
"did you read the back of your ticket"
I shouted yes then got back to rolling, but then ten of MEAN fuckers finest security cunts turned up, my god how i hated being right.
In one hand, an ounce of cannabis resin, in the other, a rolling matt with a huge skin set up and baccy, there was no way I could get out of this, I was done for, busted, dead and done. I accepted it quickly, and just waited for the inevitable ride to the portacabin where i would be gang raped and sent of to prison for the rest of my life. "Maybe I can jump of the van and make a run for the nearest mob and lose them" I thought, and waited for them to find my stash.
I bet your thinking they never did find it, and they put out our fire and moved of right? Well, no, they did find it, and commented on what a nice piece it was. I offered myself for a search for more drugs to ease my sentence but they passed and one man turned to me and said "time you took a little walk". I got up and immediatly tried to plan an escape, but then one of them, who looked identical to the great dank jones said "you know what mate, uve been call, keep ur shit, just put that fire out and we'll leave you to it" so i did, and then they moved on not before talking about how great they where and how they made festivals safe. "How by putting out a controlled fire and badly enforcing the drug laws?" i thought, but then they moved on, to try and find a rape victim that struggled to their urges.
I was breaking a law, the campfire wasnt and who got punished? Fuckit i thought, and continued to roll.
See you next year.
Return of the Crazy guy
Thursday, set up tent in exactly the same place as last year (mental), got the booze and drugs out and started doing things hunter s thompson style. Things where going great, your usual sitting around talking to random strangers when a familar driveling sound came from around the tents, but this time, a much more sinister tone.
"Blow, pills, crystals (what we later found was Crack, lovely)"
It was THAT guy, the same guy who attempted to push a burger van over, the same guy who sold us weed while selling us burgers, only this time his trade had taken a more....evil turn. We tried to set up a conversation with him, but he ignored us until we offered him a joint, then he sat with us and told us about that same serial killer. It was nice to catch up with the strange guy until, my freind who will remain enonomous, picked up a bag full of brownish white powder (not a big fan of the man made, couldnt tell u what it was) the crazy guy had dropped. He pulled out a knife and held it to my freinds throat. My freind, quite understandebly, shat himself on the spot. The crazy guy laughed, and took the joint with him as he wondered into the wilderness, advertising his horrible wears. Our naive youth was killed in a second, as where my freinds jeans.
Poppers
Nothing on earth is as evil as a bottle of poppers, but they appear at every festival we go to. How does a tent justfy selling "room oderisors" at an open air festival? but anyway, my freind decided to waste his hard earned cash on several bottles and told us all he wanted every single bottle empty by the end of the day. Obviously nobody told him about a little thing called "science" but anyway, at that point I went to see the mighty fine bands on that saturday on my own. After a day of fine music i went back to the site and saw a horrendous site. My freinds where nowhere to be seen, but the booze had been left out all day and thankfully, had not been stolen. I investigated the area and discovered a few of my mates in a tent. They had spilt all the bottle onto the floor of the tent and they where all red faced, giggling like bunnys. Apparently sniffing wasnt working but this new method of killing urself got you really really fucked. I entered the tent and shut it behind me and within seconds i felt it. My face nearly exploded while all i could see was yellow dots, my heart raced while I could feel all my muscles in my body loosen. I fell backwards onto my mate who yelled out "my fucking head". Thing was, i didnt touch his head, he had been in the tent for to long, and he had had to much. Next thing I new it was morning, and we all woke up at exactly the same time. We exited the tent and spoke to our girlfreinds and apparently, even tho i cannot remember a thing to this day, one of the girls entered for a bit but we al passed out at exactly the same time. This phenomon is still to be explained to this very day.
Busted
Friday night, just saw the excellent green day (Leeds, your sunday is my friday) and went back to the campsite to smoke and drink the night away. On my way back i saw several people fighting of security, and i remember this vividly, i instantly thought "Bad shits going down tonight"
I got back to the site and to my absolute horror Ed was setting up a campfire "what the fuck are u doing man? Im going to get busted if you light that, no campfires they said and their fucking enforcing it " i said, looking around me to make sure nobody was looking.
"it will be fine man" Ed said, and lit it.
several hours later the alcahol had got to me and the fire was blazing. People where singing all around me, and the world was a fine place. I decided at that moment it was time for an evilpumbaa four skinner, rolling matt in hand i got to work, but at that moment a voice boomed over the campsite.
"did you read the back of your ticket"
I shouted yes then got back to rolling, but then ten of MEAN fuckers finest security cunts turned up, my god how i hated being right.
In one hand, an ounce of cannabis resin, in the other, a rolling matt with a huge skin set up and baccy, there was no way I could get out of this, I was done for, busted, dead and done. I accepted it quickly, and just waited for the inevitable ride to the portacabin where i would be gang raped and sent of to prison for the rest of my life. "Maybe I can jump of the van and make a run for the nearest mob and lose them" I thought, and waited for them to find my stash.
I bet your thinking they never did find it, and they put out our fire and moved of right? Well, no, they did find it, and commented on what a nice piece it was. I offered myself for a search for more drugs to ease my sentence but they passed and one man turned to me and said "time you took a little walk". I got up and immediatly tried to plan an escape, but then one of them, who looked identical to the great dank jones said "you know what mate, uve been call, keep ur shit, just put that fire out and we'll leave you to it" so i did, and then they moved on not before talking about how great they where and how they made festivals safe. "How by putting out a controlled fire and badly enforcing the drug laws?" i thought, but then they moved on, to try and find a rape victim that struggled to their urges.
I was breaking a law, the campfire wasnt and who got punished? Fuckit i thought, and continued to roll.
See you next year.
